Well, slap my head and call my silly!
I never knew life up north would be that different than back home. Don’t get me wrong, this is the best city in the whole wide world, but y’all do things so differently.
Every time a restaurant doesn’t serve sweet tea, I start sweatin’ like a whore in church. Here are a few of those differences we experience all the time that I’m sure everyone else from the South will understand.
HERE ARE TWENTY EXPERIENCES SOUTHERNERS IN NEW YORK CITY SHARE:
1. Dehydration From No Sweet Tea
A southerner without sweet tea is just plain unnatural, like a fish without water. And no, you can’t just add some sugar to iced tea and call it sweet tea!
That dog just won’t hunt! It’s brewed with sugar, you amateurs!
2. Bad Manners
Is it so hard to get a little “Thank you, darlin’” every once in a while? And oh my word, since when did holding doors open for people go out of style? I don’t know about y’all, but my mama raised a gentleman. Although, I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t want to scream at a few taxis.
3. No Colors
Findin’ a colorful outfit in NYC is about as scarce as a hen’s teeth. Now, y’all gotta get some color going in your outfits.
Life’s too short to go around lookin’ like someone went and kicked the bucket every damn day.
4. Accent Taunting
I swear, if anyone else pokes fun at my accent or points out every time I say “y’all” or “ain’t,” I’m gonna throw a hissy fit. Should I let you know every time you say caw-fee? I don’t think so, darlin’.
5. An Expectation to be Racist/Uneducated
Now, look. Yes, we do have a history of some pretty bad ignorance and yes, the South is full of rednecks and hicks.
But, by no means should you ever assume I’m automatically one of them. I’ll slap you to sleep and then slap you for sleepin’ if you do.
6. No Chik-fil-A
Just like the sweet tea, it is just unnatural and unholy to live without some Chik-Fil-A once in a while. I mean, it just don’t make no sense. Fried chicken is good for the soul and Chik-Fil-A is the best there is (besides homemade fried chicken).
7. Too Much Healthy Food
Alright, y’all listen up now. Eatin’ healthy and organic is great and all, but life is too short to eat joylessly. Throw some butter on that broccoli every once in a while. A little salt won’t hurt that chicken breast. Live a little!
8. Everyone Knows Their Background
I don’t know what it is, but everyone up here knows where they come from since many are only 2nd or 3rd generation American. All we know down south is that we’re Southern. I guess that’s enough for some people.
Y’all northerners don’t know how great snow is. Down south, everything gets shut down when there’s even the slightest bit of snow, which is rare already, and we’ll play in it until our noses freeze off. Enjoy it, ‘cause it sure as hell ain’t gonna stop!
10. Public transportation?!
All these trains and subways are a gift from God and I wish the heavens would grace the South with such creations. I mean, if you want to just take a vacation, it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump on the train to the countryside. Back home, you need a car just to go the grocery store!
11. Psh, What humidity?
It’s so precious watchin’ you northerners sweat during the summer. We grew up with air that dewey all the way through the fall. You don’t even want to know what it’s like during the summer. Thank your lucky stars that you don’t have it up here.
12. Going Pale
Unless you’ve got the money to go to one of them tannin’ salons, that tan complexion will be gone faster than a hot knife through butter. Especially during the hell that is a northern winter when there’s hardly any sunlight!
13. What The Heck Are Northern Rednecks?
People from Connecticut and Pennsylvania always talk about havin’ rednecks back in their small towns and, I don’t know if it’s just me, but I find this hard to believe. You can’t have a redneck without a country accent. It’s just not the same!
14. LOL Northern Beaches
Oh, bless your heart, northerners. Y’all don’t have a beautiful beach in sight. They’re all so rocky and dark! Get yourselves down to Florida or Alabama and see what soft sand and deep blue water really looks like.
15. Do Not Say Ma’am!
I think we all have to learn the hard way that women in New York do not like to be referred to as ma’am. I don’t know what happens past the Mason-Dixon line, but once you cross it, women start gettin’ offended no matter how hard you try to explain it’s a sign of respect back home.
16. Professional Sports?
I can’t remember the last time I went to a pro-football game back home. It’s all about the SEC down south and there ain’t no other way. Since I’ve been here, I don’t think I’ve met a single person who cares about their school’s teams. What a world!
17. It’s Coke! Not Soda!
I don’t care what y’all have to say about those carbonated drinks, but they’re all referred to as Coke because that’s the only one that matters. Don’t you dare put a Pepsi in front of me! But at least we can agree it certainly ain’t called “pop.” Ick.
18. We Can Be Polite But Vicious
While we do have plenty of southern hospitality to go around, we’ve also got a fury like no other. If you cross us, you better prepare yourself to have your backside handed to you. And if we don’t yell, just you wait. You got yourself a storm a-comin’.
19. BBQ? Nice try.
Now, I’m not sayin’ y’all’s barbeque isn’t good. You’ve got some good stuff going that will do for now. But there’s just nothin’ like a southern cookout with some slow-cooked babyback ribs and a good ole pulled pork sandwich. Ya just gotta be there!
20. We May Have Southern Ways, But Our Hearts Are in The Big City
As opinionated as we may sound about these differences (we’re known for being very stern in what we believe), it doesn’t mean we don’t love this city. There’s nothing like it in the entire world. Us southerners come here to meet people and see things we’d never find back home. And while we may miss home and the things we’re most comfortable with, nothing can replace the adventures New York City provides us. Plus, y’all got some food that’ll give our soul food a run for its money.
Once y’all decide NYC is the place to be, head on over to the NY or LA? challenge and support your new home’s domination over them Westerners!